Monday, May 29, 2006
stressed!
i cant help feeling super super stressed now! exams is coming my way very very very soon... have been procrastinating my entry becos of a faulty comp...in fact i am typing in fear now...i am so worried that the comp may be faulty halfway while i am typing...i certainly hope not...
haha...anyway also no mood to write anything now...whole mind is possessed by the exams
wish me luck pple!...plssssss....thanks!
haha...anyway also no mood to write anything now...whole mind is possessed by the exams
wish me luck pple!...plssssss....thanks!
Thursday, May 18, 2006
closer n closer
its getting closer to my next 3 papers....with just over 10 days to left.. starting to feel the heat again...self awareness abt actual, ideal n ought self is pretty scary, read that earlier from my esap note...
my actual (present) state isnt that good cos i am freaking over the exams...i am only somehow confident of passing
ideally , i wish the sky is the limit, getting all distinctions
ought to be at least getting 2nd upper or lower to secure a good job in the future
ideals r what we strive for, but failing to achieve it will produce dejection-related emotions(dissatisfaction, sadness)
failure to resolve actual-ought discrepancies will produce agitation-related emotions (fear, anxiety)
frankly i am running into probability of not attaining both...shucks..hai...
finally decide to just touch a bit on 3 of the 11 topics in ME...they r pretty much beyond my abilities to understand n time dusen permits to focus much on them also, i call it a temporal end to my ME revisions n move on to esap.....had a lil tiff with my bro.....hai...gong shuo gong you li po shuo po you li...what happenend was i remember clearly we had a bet on soccer n i won but he says he din acknowledge the bet...i was prepared not to pursue the money since it was just a petty amount n it was all for a moment of fun then...but accrued losses over mj n daidee later n actually reduced his losing...so i said lets call it quits...but he refused to budge n but still kept harping on it n pressed me for payment...so wu liao...its actually not the money that matters now...its the pride...haha...sound like 2 childish adults...i heck also lah...i simply just refuse to give in, cos y shld i?.........the new tv show on channel u is pretty nice, wardrobe sos...but what sexism..they only help to salvage the female's wardrobe.....ideally i shld be studying now or at least ought to be sleeping but actually here blogging....haha....
it seems like a blue tuesday yesterday...haha...cos my sis left home to stay in the hotel for her last week of stay in sg, not that she wants but i suppose its becos her boss is in town so she had to attend to her boss, my parents seem so sad...haha...spend the rest of the day on my ME n left stressed over the topics i dropped...maybe it wasnt a bad idea...cos to spent time trying to understand them will be very time consuming...n after a few surveys i did it seems that most other pple are dropping topics here n there...hope its not going to cost me dearly...
happy belated mothers' day....had a very heavy brunch n made me uncomfortable the whole day, orr bee...ha...then did revisions but was perpetually interrupted by my father over the sale n purchase of a new car...personally i want a lancer, but feedback from agents n friends was it isnt a good car so my father is reluctant, but i am frankly ok with any choice since he is the one ultimately paying...the old car has been a good servant, with occasionally off-days...haha...its time to retire lao peng you...had a belated celebration for mum...ate at a restaurant...probably becos we requested the food to be prepared earlier...so its actually not very tasty but it still cost a bomb...n since its mothers' day so its ok to splurge a bit...n had a bit of red wine...was pretty worried to have a gout attack though, luckily not...n funny i had a pretty funny dream... what i remember was there was some cock up at the restaurant then i started scolding n yelling at the restaurant's staff...haha...
sunny sunday, had the usual brunch n i knew mj beckons since my sis is leaving...n so it happened...but just after dong feng nan in the first rd my aunt came...haha...so she took over me...but she left after one game so i took over.....then after dinner play another..."lao ber ji dao"(last game in dialect) we said.....
sat revision was good...i din an ok amount of revision so i decide to pamper by playing pool with my sis...it turned out to be a thrashing...she is too good for me...well...maybe she wore contacts while i din, cos the last time when she din wear i din lose that much...argh...littlefools won the FA cup, their fans r so yaya...
vesak day...fri revision wasnt that satisfying...cant remember much what happened that day but i guess there was mj n mj...thats y i din study the whole day...
visited gmc to see my mum spec for her diabetes...with the help of insulin her blood sugar readings its better...but wud prefer it if was because of the intrinsic reasons n not receiving external help...no choice lah...a lil bit of revisions after that
a day after that demoralising POA paper...so i was feeling a lil lethargic n only study a bit n there was a call for mj with long time friend/ka kis...boring game..not only i lost but also because one of my friend was in a foul mood...well...a lil too many things for him to bear now probably...hopes everything turns out fine...
majulah majulah...looking forward to hit my targeted amt of revisions tmw...till next time peeps...oh yah...suddenly thot of the strike in uk uni...its actually quite amusing to be inflicted...but it wouldnt if the outcome is going to be negative...haha....haha....hahah....
my actual (present) state isnt that good cos i am freaking over the exams...i am only somehow confident of passing
ideally , i wish the sky is the limit, getting all distinctions
ought to be at least getting 2nd upper or lower to secure a good job in the future
ideals r what we strive for, but failing to achieve it will produce dejection-related emotions(dissatisfaction, sadness)
failure to resolve actual-ought discrepancies will produce agitation-related emotions (fear, anxiety)
frankly i am running into probability of not attaining both...shucks..hai...
finally decide to just touch a bit on 3 of the 11 topics in ME...they r pretty much beyond my abilities to understand n time dusen permits to focus much on them also, i call it a temporal end to my ME revisions n move on to esap.....had a lil tiff with my bro.....hai...gong shuo gong you li po shuo po you li...what happenend was i remember clearly we had a bet on soccer n i won but he says he din acknowledge the bet...i was prepared not to pursue the money since it was just a petty amount n it was all for a moment of fun then...but accrued losses over mj n daidee later n actually reduced his losing...so i said lets call it quits...but he refused to budge n but still kept harping on it n pressed me for payment...so wu liao...its actually not the money that matters now...its the pride...haha...sound like 2 childish adults...i heck also lah...i simply just refuse to give in, cos y shld i?.........the new tv show on channel u is pretty nice, wardrobe sos...but what sexism..they only help to salvage the female's wardrobe.....ideally i shld be studying now or at least ought to be sleeping but actually here blogging....haha....
it seems like a blue tuesday yesterday...haha...cos my sis left home to stay in the hotel for her last week of stay in sg, not that she wants but i suppose its becos her boss is in town so she had to attend to her boss, my parents seem so sad...haha...spend the rest of the day on my ME n left stressed over the topics i dropped...maybe it wasnt a bad idea...cos to spent time trying to understand them will be very time consuming...n after a few surveys i did it seems that most other pple are dropping topics here n there...hope its not going to cost me dearly...
happy belated mothers' day....had a very heavy brunch n made me uncomfortable the whole day, orr bee...ha...then did revisions but was perpetually interrupted by my father over the sale n purchase of a new car...personally i want a lancer, but feedback from agents n friends was it isnt a good car so my father is reluctant, but i am frankly ok with any choice since he is the one ultimately paying...the old car has been a good servant, with occasionally off-days...haha...its time to retire lao peng you...had a belated celebration for mum...ate at a restaurant...probably becos we requested the food to be prepared earlier...so its actually not very tasty but it still cost a bomb...n since its mothers' day so its ok to splurge a bit...n had a bit of red wine...was pretty worried to have a gout attack though, luckily not...n funny i had a pretty funny dream... what i remember was there was some cock up at the restaurant then i started scolding n yelling at the restaurant's staff...haha...
sunny sunday, had the usual brunch n i knew mj beckons since my sis is leaving...n so it happened...but just after dong feng nan in the first rd my aunt came...haha...so she took over me...but she left after one game so i took over.....then after dinner play another..."lao ber ji dao"(last game in dialect) we said.....
sat revision was good...i din an ok amount of revision so i decide to pamper by playing pool with my sis...it turned out to be a thrashing...she is too good for me...well...maybe she wore contacts while i din, cos the last time when she din wear i din lose that much...argh...littlefools won the FA cup, their fans r so yaya...
vesak day...fri revision wasnt that satisfying...cant remember much what happened that day but i guess there was mj n mj...thats y i din study the whole day...
visited gmc to see my mum spec for her diabetes...with the help of insulin her blood sugar readings its better...but wud prefer it if was because of the intrinsic reasons n not receiving external help...no choice lah...a lil bit of revisions after that
a day after that demoralising POA paper...so i was feeling a lil lethargic n only study a bit n there was a call for mj with long time friend/ka kis...boring game..not only i lost but also because one of my friend was in a foul mood...well...a lil too many things for him to bear now probably...hopes everything turns out fine...
majulah majulah...looking forward to hit my targeted amt of revisions tmw...till next time peeps...oh yah...suddenly thot of the strike in uk uni...its actually quite amusing to be inflicted...but it wouldnt if the outcome is going to be negative...haha....haha....hahah....
Wednesday, May 10, 2006
disappointing
had a very disappointing paper today...somehow i can only reprimand myself for not putting enough effort...it wasnt really a tough paper but i wasnt well prepared...i was dumbfounded at the beginning...i was stunned at section a...there were 12 qns yet there is any i am confident totally...managed to pick up some momentum at the later sections, i hope they r enough to pull me thru...*fingers crossed*...looks like i have to punt on the world cup to make some money in case i incur more expenses on sch fees if i fail...i have to admit i really din put in enough effort this time...time n time again....
feeling damn blue the day earlier...to me i really feel waiting is more miserable than the process n results...study n study n study...but xing bu zai yan probably...i even contemplate mj but the other kakis stopped me becos i am having a paper the next day...sick of studying
mj for a rd then study n watch soccer...kudos to henry...formidable, invincible player ..
GE...surprised that it actually caught my attention n i voted for......
attended ME class for the last time...still pretty much confused over many topics...have to put in lots of effort to understand...usual study n tv for the rest of the day
go n see spec with my mum...her condition is getting better...i hope it will be like this forever..but everyone knows how hard it is to control diet...then the usual mugging n tv
a lesson learned in the carpark, maybe sometimes its better to wait at a level for a lot rather than driving up n down the carpark to find a lot...not too sure if it applies to other things in life.. subjective i guess...
last of my marketing, probably the last time i will ever see the motivational force...yup its only force cos the other one wasnt there...went home since library was packed...wanted to study but travelling to n fro sch is so tired...nap n nua...
have to buck up for the rest of the paper...but will the unaspiring me go back to the usual ways...maybe i have set too easy targets for myself...
*shitty* mood now...
feeling damn blue the day earlier...to me i really feel waiting is more miserable than the process n results...study n study n study...but xing bu zai yan probably...i even contemplate mj but the other kakis stopped me becos i am having a paper the next day...sick of studying
mj for a rd then study n watch soccer...kudos to henry...formidable, invincible player ..
GE...surprised that it actually caught my attention n i voted for......
attended ME class for the last time...still pretty much confused over many topics...have to put in lots of effort to understand...usual study n tv for the rest of the day
go n see spec with my mum...her condition is getting better...i hope it will be like this forever..but everyone knows how hard it is to control diet...then the usual mugging n tv
a lesson learned in the carpark, maybe sometimes its better to wait at a level for a lot rather than driving up n down the carpark to find a lot...not too sure if it applies to other things in life.. subjective i guess...
last of my marketing, probably the last time i will ever see the motivational force...yup its only force cos the other one wasnt there...went home since library was packed...wanted to study but travelling to n fro sch is so tired...nap n nua...
have to buck up for the rest of the paper...but will the unaspiring me go back to the usual ways...maybe i have set too easy targets for myself...
*shitty* mood now...
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
counting down...
6 more days to my first paper...every student's nightmare...personally i really dun like exams.. i guess i prefer continual assessments like projects or assignments than exams...n frankly there is really something which is leaving feeling a bit dissonance abt the exams...that is y r they testing our memory...certain things that we can refer to but we r made to commit them to memory... pple who r sharing the same view as me has been grumbling n i told them i am trying to make myself give way by reconciling it as a test of our obedience...afterall its what perhaps all the employers wants there workers to do..
rule no. 1 : the boss is always right
rule no. 2 : if he is wrong, refer to rule no. 1
attended my last esap class with john man...overall i am pretty satisfied with him as my esap lecturer...well...despite all the cold n stone faces that he sees everyday every lesson, he still tries his best to keep the lesson alive...i wonder if the rest of the pple felt the same as me cos i actually has the urge to give him a round of applause but it only remained a thot...i dowan to be "outside-standing"...stayed in sch to revise...hehe...by stroke of luck, motivational force were there..a pleasant surprise..i haven got my notice to vote...still have to call n clear up...so ma fan!
happy labour day! happy birthday to jx! although he most likely wont be reading this...did only a tiny weeny bit of POA revision n played mj...the thot of failing flooded my thoughts while i was playing...but i am really sick of looking at the POA tuts...numbers r scary...even arithmetic also seems scary now...hai...i realised i have been losing at mj perpetually...n found a correlation...i never won when i play with my father...hmm...definitely not a causation...just a correlation...man u is playing disappointing soccer again...hai...
have i been playing too much mj? or i just wanna run away from the revision...i did a few balance sheet n P n L...its driving me nuts...its so absorbing...to start on one means its gonna take one hr plus, no wonder the inertia is so strong! heck care ...nap, watch tv, mj, sleep...
this has to be the most happening day for a long time but for the most obviously wrong reason! this had to be one of the scariest moment of my life, i broke down, i cried in front of my siblings...i was doing something in the living then i suddenly heard a thump from my parents room..i saw my mum on the floor...i kept yelling at her but there was no response n i cud see her eyes closing n she had problem breathing...i kept yelling at her n cried out for my sis...after a while she started to response, what a huge relief! apparently she was feeling dizzy after her first injection of insulin, which was inevitable because her diabetes is in pretty bad condition...sent her to the hospital n she is okay now...no need to be warded..thank goodness..
okay...chelsea is the champions for now...can only look forward to the next season...come to think of it...haha...i was popping champagne that night too...haha
i feel so little after every revision class...the class in the morning was ME...fwah...so many things still dunno...jia latz..went to see a specialist with my mum...bo bian liao...medicine no longer works on her...she has to inject insulin...well...just as good la...as long as its better for her health... as expected its hard to study at home...i only want to nua when we went home...
productive at the sch library after a hearty mac breakfast...n a good jog in the evening...
very unproductive day at home 1 tut the whole day, anyway it was this that propel the move to study in sch the other day...everything happens for a reason...
my lucky colour for the day was pink...haha...so i wore pink to sch n hoping to be lucky...n how true it was!...make things happen? wait for things to happen? hope for things to happen? luckily it happened!...carry on with revision till evening then went to play pool with edwin...he is growing man...omg...dunno if he has reached saturation...if he does not then very soon he not gonna be able to get in my car liao..haha..
cant remember anything more liao...guess there shldnt be any significant thing...looking forward to tmw...make my notice for voting to happen. hopeful that a beautiful thing will happen tmw. lets just wait for things to happen..
till next time....
rule no. 1 : the boss is always right
rule no. 2 : if he is wrong, refer to rule no. 1
attended my last esap class with john man...overall i am pretty satisfied with him as my esap lecturer...well...despite all the cold n stone faces that he sees everyday every lesson, he still tries his best to keep the lesson alive...i wonder if the rest of the pple felt the same as me cos i actually has the urge to give him a round of applause but it only remained a thot...i dowan to be "outside-standing"...stayed in sch to revise...hehe...by stroke of luck, motivational force were there..a pleasant surprise..i haven got my notice to vote...still have to call n clear up...so ma fan!
happy labour day! happy birthday to jx! although he most likely wont be reading this...did only a tiny weeny bit of POA revision n played mj...the thot of failing flooded my thoughts while i was playing...but i am really sick of looking at the POA tuts...numbers r scary...even arithmetic also seems scary now...hai...i realised i have been losing at mj perpetually...n found a correlation...i never won when i play with my father...hmm...definitely not a causation...just a correlation...man u is playing disappointing soccer again...hai...
have i been playing too much mj? or i just wanna run away from the revision...i did a few balance sheet n P n L...its driving me nuts...its so absorbing...to start on one means its gonna take one hr plus, no wonder the inertia is so strong! heck care ...nap, watch tv, mj, sleep...
this has to be the most happening day for a long time but for the most obviously wrong reason! this had to be one of the scariest moment of my life, i broke down, i cried in front of my siblings...i was doing something in the living then i suddenly heard a thump from my parents room..i saw my mum on the floor...i kept yelling at her but there was no response n i cud see her eyes closing n she had problem breathing...i kept yelling at her n cried out for my sis...after a while she started to response, what a huge relief! apparently she was feeling dizzy after her first injection of insulin, which was inevitable because her diabetes is in pretty bad condition...sent her to the hospital n she is okay now...no need to be warded..thank goodness..
okay...chelsea is the champions for now...can only look forward to the next season...come to think of it...haha...i was popping champagne that night too...haha
i feel so little after every revision class...the class in the morning was ME...fwah...so many things still dunno...jia latz..went to see a specialist with my mum...bo bian liao...medicine no longer works on her...she has to inject insulin...well...just as good la...as long as its better for her health... as expected its hard to study at home...i only want to nua when we went home...
productive at the sch library after a hearty mac breakfast...n a good jog in the evening...
very unproductive day at home 1 tut the whole day, anyway it was this that propel the move to study in sch the other day...everything happens for a reason...
my lucky colour for the day was pink...haha...so i wore pink to sch n hoping to be lucky...n how true it was!...make things happen? wait for things to happen? hope for things to happen? luckily it happened!...carry on with revision till evening then went to play pool with edwin...he is growing man...omg...dunno if he has reached saturation...if he does not then very soon he not gonna be able to get in my car liao..haha..
cant remember anything more liao...guess there shldnt be any significant thing...looking forward to tmw...make my notice for voting to happen. hopeful that a beautiful thing will happen tmw. lets just wait for things to happen..
till next time....
