Monday, March 26, 2007
damn pain ah!
i got a swollen finger with me for 4 days! deformed now! blardy pain!! it is seriously affecting my life! n my mood! it dated back to last yr...a game of bball...argh...IF only i never play! my approach in life is usually come what may n things happen for a reason but sometimes these really puzzles me..maybe its just my ill fated life la...ren ming...only myself to blame...who ask me to be so greedy n not disciplined...hopefully i will learn after this time...said many many times liao...but still...
its been a week plus since my mocks r over...but my revision have been below expectations...i am so so worried now...n the blardy finger is making things worse...
i think i am so edgy now...i feel so insecure n my temper is getting bad...somehow i am less patient with my parents and friends...
some of the events over the week
went to bai bai my grandparents today...damn shag...after that mj with sibling n cousin...hmm...which is a correct education? the scenario was like that...i was winning then my cousin is losing...his son, my nephew, 8 yrs old played punk...he came over to me...then ask me to open my drawer...then he took some chips..anyway it was already very chaotic in the room liao...cos got 2 even younger nephews...making so much noise...so i dowan to create more chaos.. then he put the chips into my cousin drawer...wth...haha...think he took either 10 or 20...i am not very sure also...so i din expose him la..so after the game then i told him cannot do that again.. cos its almost like stealing...but i bet he dinno he was stealing...too young to know...
went to see a doc on friday...i dun like to see doc...cos i dun like pple to nag at me...but i think i let the doc down...he always tells me to take care of myself but i always go back on my words..
tuesday dinner could probably be what lead to my swollen finger now...a sinful dinner..regrets...
earlier i was saying i am so impatient to my father...that becos i had to run errands for him...n its still abt the injured car...go there to n fro...take up my whole day...
crappy entry..
good nite pple
its been a week plus since my mocks r over...but my revision have been below expectations...i am so so worried now...n the blardy finger is making things worse...
i think i am so edgy now...i feel so insecure n my temper is getting bad...somehow i am less patient with my parents and friends...
some of the events over the week
went to bai bai my grandparents today...damn shag...after that mj with sibling n cousin...hmm...which is a correct education? the scenario was like that...i was winning then my cousin is losing...his son, my nephew, 8 yrs old played punk...he came over to me...then ask me to open my drawer...then he took some chips..anyway it was already very chaotic in the room liao...cos got 2 even younger nephews...making so much noise...so i dowan to create more chaos.. then he put the chips into my cousin drawer...wth...haha...think he took either 10 or 20...i am not very sure also...so i din expose him la..so after the game then i told him cannot do that again.. cos its almost like stealing...but i bet he dinno he was stealing...too young to know...
went to see a doc on friday...i dun like to see doc...cos i dun like pple to nag at me...but i think i let the doc down...he always tells me to take care of myself but i always go back on my words..
tuesday dinner could probably be what lead to my swollen finger now...a sinful dinner..regrets...
earlier i was saying i am so impatient to my father...that becos i had to run errands for him...n its still abt the injured car...go there to n fro...take up my whole day...
crappy entry..
good nite pple
Saturday, March 17, 2007
how to start
how to start writing this blog...hehe... radio is playing one my fav hit ...jian dai ai (jay)... its a boring nite w/o msn...wonder whats wrong...maybe they r doing some work on it...has been trying hopelessly to login for the pass 1 hr...give up...
ok...lets talk abt my mocks...its finally over...i think i did really bad...pretty demoralised..
my first paper was Managerial Econs...hai... xiong kou yong yuan de tong...cos its a module i repeat...its quite a blow actually..getting mediocre results is ok with me...but repeat sucks...the last time i ever got so close to repeating a module was in poly...i still rem it...i din get any consolation n i looked really down on myself...i think my dad n my bro was really disappointed in me... i could still remember the words my bro told me..."50 marks also cannot get meh?" yes...that moment...hai... but i dun bear any grudge la...i mean i think what he said is quite true...n when he said that probably he din mean to hurt me la...but just that also cant blame him...he is 1 yr older than me...so at that time he were only like 18...so it can be quite tactless when he speaks.. but last yr when i fail ME i was sad...but maybe its becos been thru more things liao la..so can kan kai n so din take it too heart when i failed ...but still a disappointment too...till now my parents till dunno i repeat it...haha...quite a joke now as i type...haha... so y din i tell them...hmm...they din ask so i never say lor...n since i could make it within these 3 yrs course...i thot as long as i can pull it off this time then ok liao...stressssssss.... haha like a bit digress...
2nd paper...management mathematics..was not as hard as i thought...but i cant really recall the workings....i hate to recall things! there is always this uneasiness in me cos i dun like to fall back on memory...but its inevitable...i left b4 attempting all the qns cos i was summoned to be my dad ahmad...
3rd...management science methods...haha...one of the easiest paper i thot it was...only to realise i am so dumb la...hmm...basically what happened was i thot a qn was set wrongly...FAE...fundamental attribution error...haha...but after i clarified with a friend then i realised its just a tricky part of a qn...but apparently it seems like i was the only person tricked by it..haha...cockanath**....but i have to be really careful though...cos in the records..there was a yr where the mocks was really easy but finals was damn difficult...i hope there is no deja vu this time...
4th...hrm...hai...its like another clueless subject to me...either the lecturer is left much to be desired or is really pretty limited to what he can teach us...as in much of the work has to be done by us instead of him...took the paper with "what can be worse" mindset.....as in like i already know zero things...so the fact that i could write something really made me felt it wasnt that bad afterall...i even wrote nonsense la...things which i dunno isit even appropriate...like assume is the acronym for making an ass out of you n me...haha...but this mindset cannot bring to the finals la...if not...i dowan to imagine the worst....
5th...international comparative perspectives...b4 the paper i thot i could prepare myself well enough...cos in the past...most of the subjects which i were given model ans by the lecturer...it was quite easy to spot the qns since the qns almost the same every year....but as i browse thru the past yr papers...i knew cannot make it liao la...the variance is far wider than the model ans i was given...even if i read ALL the qns that was given to me so far...probably i can ans 3 qn...requirements was to do 4 qns...n i believe with what i can write...i really need to ans all 4 to pass...somehow i did 2.5 qns...yes...its the prob of recalling again...argh...something like a essay constipation la...the points in my head was a bit vague...so i cant really put them into words n write fluently...i hate it i hate it i hate it!
so whats my opinions n reflections for the mocks
1. attitude towards mocks at diff level is diff...yr 1...gan chiong spider.... yr 2...dunno also n crack ur head n die gloriously....yr 3...go or dont go?...hahaha
2. repeating again n again n yet again...cannot play play liao...
3. constipation again...i remember there were still some more...but cant recall...
usually the mocks ended early...but this time my mocks ended a lil late than b4...so i am self declaring a 4n3d holidays...haha...already watched a movie...played pool...ktv...few more activities to cover for the weekend then back to the studying routine again...
i saw desmond koh at yishun 10...haha...my fav deejay during my poly days...pretty tempted to go to him to get autograph or take a pic something like that...but tats so uncool la...haha...nobody knew it was him probably becos he wore a cap n tried to make himself unrecognizable...
talking abt him made me think of future again...hai...i am still pretty clueless when ppl ask me what i wanna do after grad...argh...so for a job...i think i will like to be a deejay...haha...reason? so i can access to the unlimited songs...n i like listening to radio...so i actually wish i can be a deejay too...or a chef...haha...somehow office works just bores me la...i dont really wanna work in a office...but chance of it not coming true is not high...then the next job on my mind is probably sales job...like maybe sell cars or property...but salesman job is not well like la...i dowan pple to avoid me la...haha.....next well be my own boss...open a shop...just a small biz to give me a comfortable life can liao...bleak or bright?...i dunno....
so now...how to stop...haha...1001 things is generating in my head...
haha...still unable to connect to msn...
ciao for now...i will be back.
ok...lets talk abt my mocks...its finally over...i think i did really bad...pretty demoralised..
my first paper was Managerial Econs...hai... xiong kou yong yuan de tong...cos its a module i repeat...its quite a blow actually..getting mediocre results is ok with me...but repeat sucks...the last time i ever got so close to repeating a module was in poly...i still rem it...i din get any consolation n i looked really down on myself...i think my dad n my bro was really disappointed in me... i could still remember the words my bro told me..."50 marks also cannot get meh?" yes...that moment...hai... but i dun bear any grudge la...i mean i think what he said is quite true...n when he said that probably he din mean to hurt me la...but just that also cant blame him...he is 1 yr older than me...so at that time he were only like 18...so it can be quite tactless when he speaks.. but last yr when i fail ME i was sad...but maybe its becos been thru more things liao la..so can kan kai n so din take it too heart when i failed ...but still a disappointment too...till now my parents till dunno i repeat it...haha...quite a joke now as i type...haha... so y din i tell them...hmm...they din ask so i never say lor...n since i could make it within these 3 yrs course...i thot as long as i can pull it off this time then ok liao...stressssssss.... haha like a bit digress...
2nd paper...management mathematics..was not as hard as i thought...but i cant really recall the workings....i hate to recall things! there is always this uneasiness in me cos i dun like to fall back on memory...but its inevitable...i left b4 attempting all the qns cos i was summoned to be my dad ahmad...
3rd...management science methods...haha...one of the easiest paper i thot it was...only to realise i am so dumb la...hmm...basically what happened was i thot a qn was set wrongly...FAE...fundamental attribution error...haha...but after i clarified with a friend then i realised its just a tricky part of a qn...but apparently it seems like i was the only person tricked by it..haha...cockanath**....but i have to be really careful though...cos in the records..there was a yr where the mocks was really easy but finals was damn difficult...i hope there is no deja vu this time...
4th...hrm...hai...its like another clueless subject to me...either the lecturer is left much to be desired or is really pretty limited to what he can teach us...as in much of the work has to be done by us instead of him...took the paper with "what can be worse" mindset.....as in like i already know zero things...so the fact that i could write something really made me felt it wasnt that bad afterall...i even wrote nonsense la...things which i dunno isit even appropriate...like assume is the acronym for making an ass out of you n me...haha...but this mindset cannot bring to the finals la...if not...i dowan to imagine the worst....
5th...international comparative perspectives...b4 the paper i thot i could prepare myself well enough...cos in the past...most of the subjects which i were given model ans by the lecturer...it was quite easy to spot the qns since the qns almost the same every year....but as i browse thru the past yr papers...i knew cannot make it liao la...the variance is far wider than the model ans i was given...even if i read ALL the qns that was given to me so far...probably i can ans 3 qn...requirements was to do 4 qns...n i believe with what i can write...i really need to ans all 4 to pass...somehow i did 2.5 qns...yes...its the prob of recalling again...argh...something like a essay constipation la...the points in my head was a bit vague...so i cant really put them into words n write fluently...i hate it i hate it i hate it!
so whats my opinions n reflections for the mocks
1. attitude towards mocks at diff level is diff...yr 1...gan chiong spider.... yr 2...dunno also n crack ur head n die gloriously....yr 3...go or dont go?...hahaha
2. repeating again n again n yet again...cannot play play liao...
3. constipation again...i remember there were still some more...but cant recall...
usually the mocks ended early...but this time my mocks ended a lil late than b4...so i am self declaring a 4n3d holidays...haha...already watched a movie...played pool...ktv...few more activities to cover for the weekend then back to the studying routine again...
i saw desmond koh at yishun 10...haha...my fav deejay during my poly days...pretty tempted to go to him to get autograph or take a pic something like that...but tats so uncool la...haha...nobody knew it was him probably becos he wore a cap n tried to make himself unrecognizable...
talking abt him made me think of future again...hai...i am still pretty clueless when ppl ask me what i wanna do after grad...argh...so for a job...i think i will like to be a deejay...haha...reason? so i can access to the unlimited songs...n i like listening to radio...so i actually wish i can be a deejay too...or a chef...haha...somehow office works just bores me la...i dont really wanna work in a office...but chance of it not coming true is not high...then the next job on my mind is probably sales job...like maybe sell cars or property...but salesman job is not well like la...i dowan pple to avoid me la...haha.....next well be my own boss...open a shop...just a small biz to give me a comfortable life can liao...bleak or bright?...i dunno....
so now...how to stop...haha...1001 things is generating in my head...
haha...still unable to connect to msn...
ciao for now...i will be back.
Tuesday, March 06, 2007
lost for words...
hai...sian...sian...very sian... think from now till dunno when life gonna sian...
first of all is the mocks...sian....then the final exams...sian....then start to seek for job...sian...then start working...still SIAN!
damn stressed la...
also dunno how to pen down the 1001 things i want to say...cos i am damn lazy...if only there is a invention...something that links to our brain...then come to hear directly... maybe it will come true one day though cos saw on the news earlier that there is something new on the block which could read a brain intention...
sian la...
first of all is the mocks...sian....then the final exams...sian....then start to seek for job...sian...then start working...still SIAN!
damn stressed la...
also dunno how to pen down the 1001 things i want to say...cos i am damn lazy...if only there is a invention...something that links to our brain...then come to hear directly... maybe it will come true one day though cos saw on the news earlier that there is something new on the block which could read a brain intention...
sian la...
