liansoon

exams blues, only blues...getting more n more stress as the day goes by....have been hallucinating myself in exams hall n freaking out occasionally these couple of weeks...the thought of it makes me sick...time seems so fast yet seems so slow...fast when i realised days passed n its already abt 2 weeks since i last blog...fast when i think i dun have enough time to study...slow when it seems like it takes etermity for me to read a single page or do a single qn...thinking back, i remember there is a lot of things i did n many things on my mind which i wanna blog down... lets start with today...

the day din started too well i would say....my neighbour asked my dad for a ride but her face kind of changed when she knew i was the one driving actually...i also dunno y she seemed quite uneasy...i wonder y...isit becos i am unfriendly or i appeared unfriendly?....then had a bad experience on the road...i was driving at this pretty wide lane...becos i was going to turn left...so i occupy most of the left side of the lane, then i saw a car picking up speed n trying to squeeze into the lane with me...i was very pissed! cos i think he is putting my parents n my lives in danger...frankly if not becos my parents were in the car, i would have block his way...not another accident man...REN!...lesson was alright...pretty nostalgic at times when i know its going to be the last few lessons ...hehe.. had a lil discussion with daryl on efficiency and "got sim"(dunno how to say in english...basically mean thoughful)...anyway the scenario was we found a 2 seater in the LT...then he saw a friend, then she asked where we were sitting then he told her...so as can be seen...what for tell her? cos there is no seat for her tell her also no use...y waste her time to go n look for our seats...anyway its just one of the scenarios...another scenario was at the toilet...toilets in sim have a common door, which then lead to gents n ladies...that time i was abt to go thru the common door with a friend...when the door opened, a lady was abt to come out...then my friend walked in...i paused for a while wanting to let her come out first...but then she also paused to wait for me to go in...what i saw as inefficiency as we were both waiting, i decided to go in first...then i said sorry....lame ya...basically what i think sometimes its not rudeness of ungentlemen that override courtesy...but efficiency probably....haha...anyone reading this should find it very boring...anyway i had to leave early today cos i had to collect the car from the garage...cant believe it myself too...my father got into an accident again...thank god its a very minor one...but its still very demotivating...n he just lost his specs...jia latz...think my father is getting senile......became sim san zhi xiang with 2 other friends today!

beginning to believe "study" n gambling really clash with each other...luck has been very very very bad lately...chao ta liao...man u suffered a setback, luckily chelsea too

went to ktv after a full day ..pretty impromptu n feeling a bit guilty...haha...guilty cos i have so much revision yet to cover n guilty cos i have turn down a lot of friends who have been asking me out recently...but then i still can go ktv...was ready to go home after dinner with the friend...but he looked so sian...so made a last min decision to go ktv...it was pretty fun anyway in the end...one of those better sessions...i really hate it when i go to ktv on an "off" day...its like always stuck in 2nd gear...

i think i gave my parents attitude on thursday...i felt so bad...i had so lil sleep...maybe 3 hrs?..but i had to wake up to send the car to the workshope...what i wanted was to chop chop go to the workshop then returned home to sleep...but my parents wanted me to drive them to a few places...i had no appetite cos its still early...but they wanted me to eat...duh...so its like they have to force me to eat...they r really treating me like a small lil kid...haha...at first i was pissed but now i understand...its lifestyle basically...cos for them they r used to wake up early n have breakfast n do things...which is y they dinno what i wanted was to rush home n sleep but instead they carried on with their normal routine...lately i heard n oldie from su yong kang' song...the last line was..."ai bu zhi she zou jing du fang de sheng huo, geng yao neng zhu jing bi ci the sheng ming"

carrying that topic on lifestyle...my bro bought a new lcd tv...in my sense was for what...waste money...esp not at the time when there r already so much losses incurred over the 2 accidents... n when my father keeps nagging at me to save money n when my mum decides to stop seeing her diabetes specialist becos of the exuberant charges...but what can i say when i myself also think i am spending money unwisely...there is so much expenses along with the tv...we need a new tv console...we have to upgrade our SCV set top box....haha...maybe i am too stingy to be aesthetics ...haha...i am not sure if i am correct in using this word...ironically i have a t-shirt with this word...*933 is playing FIR ah qing song(qi shi hai ai ni), i think his songs r nice* ....anyway so we looked ard but still haven find a suitable tv console...maybe my father just cant bear to part with his money..

early bird on a sunday morning...an "off" day...hate it...

i did not make it to the next rd of the star dj contest, althought it was expected, but i was still hoping for a miracle. too bad it din come...recently while listening to 883...they seem to have a similar thing coming up also n it was for charity this time...but i think i really cannot afford the time now liao...

gotten back all my mocks resulting...pretty mocking...can buy toto with the numbers
msm-60..maybe can buy 6
hrm-22
mm-21
me-7.5
icp-39
last digit roll...haha...5, 6, 7, 21, 22, 39...haha...huat ah!!

had a very very very dream a few days ago....part of it is impossible...whereas part of it seems attainable...but it would take a great deal of me to come to terms with it...
does it chews on u like it chews on me...hai...

exams blues...only blues...its very chilling when i think what if i am not going to make it...its very chilling when if i think i have to see friends graduating leaving me behind...its very chilling when i think i am going to get a low class, which is very likely to happen...its very chilling when i think i am not going to find a job....its very chilling when i think of all the stress....its very chilling...very chilling...grrr

feeling a lil like a zombie now....physically n mentally tired at the moment. the day started at 8am...had icp lesson in the morning, the last of my icp lesson. feeling a lil emo at the end of it , tsk tsk..it feels like saying goodbye to mr nageb, sim n fellow schoolmates....i still rem my first lesson in sim was ibm, taught by mr nageb, which seems like it was only yesterday...haha...how time flies.....
couldnt find a suitable person to go with me to taiwan...a lil disappointed but its ok...

did some mm revision in sch b4 my evening hrm class....pretty dismal cos i think i covered less than what i planned...emo again as its like going to be the last month i will be spending my time in SIM...something which has been a part of my life for 3 yrs....the library, the toilet, the tables n chairs, the koi pond, the atrium, the lift, the staircase...bla bla...very soon they r going to become memories...

like i was telling sean, it takes really a lot of motivation to attend hrm class...the last burst which really zombified me...kind of lost of words...its like i know yet i dunno whats going on n vice versa...as the lesson went on...many thots flashed in my were mind....so whats education?? whats really the rationale for attending lesson? y a min or a sec ago there can be some very enthu students seeking attention from the lecturer then the next they can just remain silent n then irritate the lecturer? i am not at all blaming them...just a bit puzzled...for all she knows, sometimes she needs to pinpoint pple to get an ans, then y did she still not do that, allowing some kind of a dumb cycle to go on...lalalla...

enjoyed 2 songs in the car on my way back, ying xing de ren by syz n xiao shi by FIR...i sang to the top of my voice, something like a liberation, letting it all out in the car! shiok! but just like we have to get back to reality, the engine stops, the music stops and then back to the tranquility...

just when we thot the accident which my father got into had come to an end, we received a lawyer's letter from the claimant was sent to us, sian...more errands to run n more dispute to settle. at first i thot it was a SOP, but now i totally dun understand y r they sending us a lawyer's letter. from the day of the accident till now, we did not receive any calls from them, so we din get into any dispute mah...so y r they sending letter to us...its not as if we have confronted n we r refusing to accede to their terms...anyway, just have to call n clarify everything tmw...

ok...some updates for now...

the mazda is also back, somehow it feels like restoring things back to status quo although its not really the case...firstly, dun really well comfortable driving a car thats pretty badly hit,if the intensity of the damage can be measured by cost, its 30k. lucky got insurance but still paid 525 excess. some of my neighbours were not making things better, they were like telling us an accident is worthless, if can sell then sell away...which i think its kind of creating some dissonance in my father n me, not wanting to be impolite, we just smile n keep mum...a funny/weird conversation with my bro also....he asked, so how is the car?...a very natural qn which i think anyone in his shoes will ask...but how am i supposed to ans him...so i just said its cleaner n look newer, haha....n he replied, ok so its for the better...then i really dunno how to ans liao...just keep quiet n change topic...

mm class was like this n like that lor....
cen jing cang hai nan wei shui
chu que wu shan bu shi yun
vaguely understand the meaning of this 2 lines, any kind soul who know can enlighten me pls, thanks

a very happening sat, yes 933 star dj contest!
seems pretty unbelievable, but finally i still made up my mind to give it a try...
reached there ard 1020 n to my surprise(delight?), there werent really too many participants. however, its not concealed...which means i have to stand on the stage n make a public audition, a very big stumbling block. at 11 i made my way to the registration booth n my number was 94... i was overwhelmed by the first 4 contestants...i really thot i shld chicken out...but i just stayed n watched n watched ...ok.. overall i will say more than half of the contestants were better than me...some same as me n only a few i think did worse than me...b4 my turn, i was thinking so what i shld say on stage...but but but...on n off the stage is so diff...i seem to have 1001 thing to say but i think i said less than 10 things...i also dunno y...n i even made mistakes which i initally warned myself not to make ...some of which were made by the previous contestant n ironically i was laughing at them myself when i was waiting for my turn. well...i wanted to defend myself by saying that the way this audition is held is not favourable to me, but i think i just have to accept since its their game n they call the shots....results will be out tmw...i will be very very very shocked if i do get thru...well...still i wanna thanks bukoh mary, cos of the 3 judges judging me, i find her to be the most appreciative i would say, she gave me this really sincere smile when i got on the stage n off the stage n when i was a lil nervous....on the other hand...lets not say ...haha...ask me personally la if wanna know...well...i will still try to make my way to become a dj...it seems a lil weird to me now as i reflect...actually in the past there were events like "shui qiang zou le wo de mai ke feng" and "project s"...how come i wasnt so enthu abt them previously...isit becos i am graduating n i need to find a job?...probably...but 2 yrs ago...i already make a declaration to someone i wanna be a deejay.....lalala...looks like i cannot stop writing on this...haha...anyway the reason i wrote on the form for y i wanna be a deejay was really dumb...keke...i wrote becos i really like to listen to songs, so whenever i heard a really nice song, usually classic, i wished very much i can own that cd...wahaha...thats just one of the many many reasons...just like i learn in my icp class we although there are many advantages n disadvantages, but we still need to rank them...that reason was joint top with another reason...


i was contemplating whether to pen this......sian...my ME sucks...i dowanna fail it again!

i am comtemplating to pen this also...
a friend asked me for a ride
at that point my father said he wanna use the car, so i had to take public myself too
but at the very last min, my father let me used the car instead
so in the end i got to drive.
i did not inform the friend
so i am wondering if i am correct or wrong or neither right nor wrong.

k, so y din i inform him...firstly...it was last min, so i reckon he shld have made his way so quite redundant to inform him...2ndly..lazy?dunno how valid it is though...probably to say its too much of a hassle more pleasing to see n hear...cos if i call him, still have to arrange place n time which highly needs adjustments on my side...so just take it as it is...
i did ask myself if i shld explain to him...asked a few person n they told me its not necessary...but i did ask myself if i were in his shoes how will i feel...will i feel i am being cheated? it seems highly possible that i will be....however...i am still leaving it as it is....wait yue miao yue hei, n probably if i explain things it would seem i am defending myself....

on a happier note, my parents cold war has ended...hehe...bed head quarrel bed tail reconcile...keke...

alright...good nite pple...

my finger is better now...but its far far from the way it should be...i cannot fully close it, its impaired...i dunno what to do...luckily i can still write...so its ok if it stays this way until the exams r over then i will go n do something abt it...so at times like i am sleeping or when i somehow accidentally or test water trying to close it, it still ouches! there were also some times where it hurts too...like all of a sudden, maybe change of temp or some bio reaction in me...for now...as long as it stays this way...i am contented...so from now till the exams...its going to be a very strict diet...if it still recur anywhere btn now to exams then its fate liao...

anyway back to the topic...lately there seems to be quite a few cold wars or some unpleasant events ard me...

funniest one is btn my mum n dad... it all started on sat. my mum and his siblings aka my uncles n aunties wanted to go n bai my maternal grandparents on sunday, but my dad was strongly against it cos he thinks its going to be very very packed...well true as it is...it was very packed... the thing is its my uncle decide one, then my mum cannot say dowan n my dad was forced to accept it unwillingly too...so that sat night, my mum went to get the offerings herself then they took turns to turn in...wahaha...at first my mum was in the room, then for a while she came out then my dad enter the room to sleep...so, my mum watched soccer with me until my dad fall asleep...wahaha...long time dun have such drama at home liao...the stalemate carried on till sunday...not sure abt today cos i wasnt home most of the time...then come the 2nd round...maybe my mum trying to test limit also...frankly i also dunno what dinner she cook today...2 terrible dishes which i think i only ate like 5% of them...haha...n there is still more than half left in the fridge...my father was obviously very fed up with the dinner...haha...lan lan suck thumb...cos if he cook something himself also not nice, go n buy food also not nice...just have to swallow some down...surprising he also kan kai quite fast la...during the 9pm show he still ate the humble pie n talk to my mum...but my mother dowan to give face...hahahaha...so old liao still got this kind of drama...wahaha... "oldish"? anyway will be a long in sch tmw also...lets see what will happen when i get home tmw...


something strange seems to be happening in sch....acting blur seems to be the best strategy... although quite frankly i dun like it...but its not within my control so continue to act blur lor... wo bu wen bu wen, ye xu hao guo yi dian...


watched the last episode of qi ji earlier on, it shall be the last drama serial till exams liao...bb serial for now!..


still struggling with the decision to join the DJ contest by 933?...the heart says 100% but there r so many things to consider...the reasons my seem superfluous or r they not? firstly, its the exams period now, devoting time to any other thing then study seem illegitimate. 2ndly, looking at my chinese standards, i think its going be hard for me to impress the judges...then looks also far from acceptable for 933 standards.........how?argh...keep struggling...


had a hair cut today...its very short now... talking of which...i find it quite awkward for my hair to be shampooed by a guy...haha...feels so gay...

k la...think all for now...good nite pple