liansoon

how many agree this with me...i am not going to forgive myself for failing my ME paper(although the results is not out, but i think there is no speculation that i will pass at all...cos any speculations r false hopes...) its the worst paper that i have ever sat for...n although everyone is telling me if i had already done my best then i no need to blame myself...but did i really do my best? maybe not...cos doing my best probably shld be trying my best to understand n able to do every single topic in this module...n probably things wouldnt have been in this state n i wouldnt have felt so guilty... from the onset i thot instead of trying to understand meagrely from every topic i might as well select a few topics which i cud understand more n be proficient indeed...n how wrong was i, how wrong...all the qns i prepared din come out...that was a disaster...the moment i flip open the paper i knew i was destined to fail....
recollection of what i have done wrong...

firstly i really shldnt have selected topics to study...but having said this...i am caught in a dilemma...looking at the other 3 papers...if i had tried to understand everything single thing, i could land up somewhere unfavourable as well...so y is the decision to selective drop/select topic a correct decision in some cases n incorrect in others...maybe its really fate? i wanna beg to differ but i think primitively to select is wrong, its a gamble...if it pull thru is luck thats all...
secondly, usually the culprit was time factor...however this is clearly not the case as well...time really wasnt an issue...it was plenty...but i devoted the same time to work n play, when clearly the more righteous thing to spend most of the time studying n just a smaller fraction of time playing...all the time spend on mj, daidee, tv, ktv...r they justfied...guess they play a part in my failure too...no doubt abt it
third, maybe i am not suited for studying...studying has never been easy on me like it seems to be on other...i just dun make the cut...*radio is playing that irritating JJ song now, the one abt studying*...add salt to the wound...

well...i also know its no use crying spill milk now...but i need time to get over the aftermath... frankly i am feeling very sore abt having to repeat this module...y me y me? esp when i know there r surely pple out there who haven worked harder than me n their reason to pass is becos they selected to study the topics which i din...

i am having mixed feelings now....i want a break...to release all the tension in me...but i really dun think i deserve a break...thing was much pleasant last year..i had a good break becos i know i deserve the break...i did probably the best i cud, wth...i did drop n select topics to study also...so whats best? so whats correct?argh...hai...confusing world....FAN AH!

i have endless dejected words to describe my feelings now....if every negativity is counter with positivity, i really wish to know what good thing can happen to me...cant believe i am so naive to believe in this...

*sigh**sigh**sigh**sigh**sigh**sigh**sigh**sigh**sigh**sigh**sigh**sigh**sigh**sigh**sigh*